Stupid Questions!

Everyone asks stupid questions sometimes, maybe they just want to hear themselves talk.  Maybe they didn’t think before they asked.  Maybe they’re just plain dumb.

I hear a lot of stupid questions throughout my day, but my FAVORITE stupid question of them all is the one I will be focusing on.  So bear with me, it will take a little background information….

First you should know, I have a younger brother (my only sibling if you don’t count my dog-sisters) and along with many other unique characteristics- an intense interest in the keyboard, a passion for Hershey Kisses- and deep hatred for any other type of chocolate, a disproportionate big laugh for his thin frame, and living as one of 5 remaining Randy Travis fans, and eyelashes that women pay money for- he also happens to be disabled, physically and cognitively.  He was born 3 months early, had a ‘headbleed’, uses a wheelchair, is blind, etc.  But, he’s extremely healthy and (which may throw someone off as pegging us siblings) he is always happy. 

So my brother is disabled, which has led him down a different path than others.  He doesn’t go to your typical regular education classroom, he isn’t going to go to college, and he will always live with my parents (which isn’t that different when you look at all the post-grads living in mom’s basement I guess- minus the online gaming).

So whenever people I’m getting to know for the first time eventually ask me about my family, they ask if I have any siblings.  I say I have a younger brother and go on to talk about his age, his interests, etc.  Well when people hear that he is 20 they usually ask about school or college, which leads me to explain his disabilities.  And I kid you not…. 9 times out of 10 the next question goes as follows:

What is his life expectancy?

WHAT?!  And they always ask me with the same nonchalance as if they were asking what color his hair is.  As much as I get asked that question, it never fails to amaze me how fucking stupid everyone is.  Really.  That’s a stupid question.  If you ever meet someone who happens to have a disabled friend, family member, whatever, don’t ask them that.

The last fucking moron to ask me this question was my husband’s grandmother.  She’s usually the most polite person in the world- Grandpa was a mayor back in his day so she’s down with socializing- so this shocked me.  My eyes glazed over and I shrugged and said “I don’t know, normal?”  I should have asked her what hers was, and reminded her that the average life expectancy for Canadians is 80- was she getting nervous?

So that is by far, the most stupid question I have ever been asked.  What is even more stupid is how often I hear it!  What if it’s 21- and we were all terrified that this could be his last year with us?  Not every disability is terminal!  Do you ask someone who’s just been diagnosed with cancer what their life expectancy is?  How can anyone even know that?!?!  And something about my husband’s family (because I’m pretty sure they have all asked the exact same question) is the follow up response to that question, which is usually a story about disabled people getting gassed.  I kid you not.  Gas.

The first time I met my husband’s parents my brother’s disabilities came up, and after the life expectancy question, my father-in-law goes on to inform me that during the Holocaust the Nazis threw handicapped people in the gas chambers alongside the Jews and homosexuals.  Grandma, on the other hand, had a much more original segue.  She, upon hearing about my brother, was reminded of the heartwarming story of the man in Saskatchewan had a disabled daughter and took her out to his car and gassed her because he couldn’t stand to see her suffer.  He’s in jail now, but if he gets out I would like him to gas me too because that’s a hell of a lot better than living in Saskatchewan, thank you.  But, honestly, how am I not in jail for assualting my inlaws?  The Ultimate Stupid Question is one thing- surprisingly everyone pulls that original out of their ass with me- but the follow-up gassing tales? 

My brother may be the disabled individual in this story, but being a rude fucking idiot is a much worse affliction.

Possible future answers to “What is his life expectancy?”

• 457
• longer than yours (*Kill Idiot*)
• The doctors say 20 (*long pause*)  Oh my God!!! (*weep*)
• Well, actually we’re having him cloned…
• Whenever my dad decides to install that gas chamber
• Favorite:  Well that’s a stupid question, isn’t it?