If you live in Canada, you may have heard of Marc Emery, the Prince of Pot. If you live in the United States you may have heard of him too, although when I am in the US I never see any news coverage about him, 60 minutes did a show but that’s about it.
Anyway, Marc Emery is a Canadian Marijuana activist. He opened Hemp BC in Vancouver, and also started Pot TV. He is very passionate about legalizing marijuana and what’s not to love about that? Read more about him here.
Anyway, along with his other accomplishments, Emery also sold marijuana seeds online. In 2005, the United States DEA went into Canada and closed down Emery’s shop and seed business. The United States went into Canada and enforced US LAW in CANADA???!! YES! Because, seeds were sold to customers in the United States.
Since then, Emery has been facing a possible life term in prison(under US law)- and today accepted a plea deal that would result in him spending 5-10 years in prison. He did this to (obviously keep him out of a life term) AND to keep his two colleagues from having to serve sentences as well- one of his fellow activists who faced jail time has Crohn’s disease, and uses the drug to alleviate symptoms. Just like millions of chronically ill people could benefit from. I think if your condition is chronic, you should get a little chronic.
But what is wrong with this picture? If you are a fellow pot head, you have probably come across a seed or two in your day. Now, what would a weed lover do with a wayward seed? Plant it! And then you get a little sprout and your practically selling your crop already, and then you wake up 3 days later and your precious little sprout is flopped over dead. It’s f-ing hard to grow pot! You need a specific set-up and even the most basic equipment can be expensive. So my guess is that over half of the US customers were probably stoners like me who think pot is as easy to grow as a Chia Pet, and produced no crop from these illegal seeds. But does the United States care? No, because the government refuses to recognize that pot is not on the same level as heroin and as usual, we make it our job to stick our nose in the business of other countries. So I guess we’d rather import weed instead of have it grown at home.
I am outraged that Marc Emery has to serve jail time at all, what a criminal! Rapists serve less time than him! And I’m outraged that we are living in this nightmare world where alcohol and cigarettes are legal and BOTH can kill you, but a PLANT that is never fatal, is not addictive, and has no negative health effects is treated like a WMD.
No wonder kids are dying from things like huffing and the choking game, Jesus if they had a couple joints on hand like normal teenagers are supposed to we wouldn’t have all these freaky accidents! MySpace wouldn’t run their young lives and video games wouldn’t be turning young men into owl-eyed, nocturnal, I-can’t-change-a-flat-but-I-can-work-a-machine-gun-in-halo, and girls into catty text-messaging Paris Hilton carbon copies (Paris smokes pot though, but I couldn’t think of anything else). And adults could fucking relax once in a while instead of filling their time with work/tv/work/tv. People could have a reason to get together and visit, instead of living isolated lives and only getting together for holidays.
“Hey Neighbor, want to pop into my garage and want to help me smoke this joint?”
“Sure, I just got home from work and would love to experience human interaction instead of watching television until bed. Crimeny, I just spend 8 hours staring at a computer and truthfully, I’m lonely. My kids spent all night in their rooms watching tv, text-messaging, going on MySpace and huffing spraypaint. And my wife just watches reality tv while drinking wine from a box. When she isn’t doing that she’s busy buying the latest sheet set from the Martha Stewart collection. I really don’t see my family at all, and we don’t laugh together anymore.”
“Well” says the joint-providing neighbor as they proceed into his garage, “my family used to have the same problem, and while my wife still has the occassional box of wine and my kids still have cybersex on MySpace with men my age, I have found solace in this special time I like to call After-Work-Daddy’s-In-The-Garage-Hour. My family knows they can come into join me, and sometimes my wife does and we laugh and talk about funny things and split a bag of Doritos, it’s really helped our relationship”
“Wow, that sounds wonderful, perhaps I’ll occassionally do the same, it’s not that expensive and it’s not bad for you, and if it encourages interaction with me and my family then why wouldn’t I try it?”
“You know, Neighbor, we live in a lonely world, and sometimes I think this little plant” (motioning to a small terrarium with 1 pot plant thriving) “is the only thing that truly helps me relax while living in this problem ridden society”
BOOM BOOM BOOM- garage door blows off it’s tracks- men wearing gas masks and weilding maching guns and shields burst in and immediately taser Neighbor and Neighbor with Joint. Both men are currently serving 9 years in jail.
The End
JUST LEGALIZE IT ALREADY YOU FOOLS! CANADA IS GETTING CLOSE, THE UNITED STATES NEEDS TO WAKE UP AND GET ITS PRIORITIES IN ORDER.
I guess I’ll go drink a liter of vodka and smoke a carton of cigarettes now, totally legal, totally acceptable. Fucking backwards.
