As we near the 2008 Presidential Election, and commercials telling us how important our vote is begin to grow in numbers, I would like to remind you that your vote doesn’t really matter.  Along with incredible fraud that is occuring at ballot casting sites across the country, there are many other factors working against you- the ‘voter.’

Why your vote doesn’t matter:  The Electoral College

There are many factors that work together to make your vote useless, but the main reason why your vote doesn’t matter has to do with a little thing we call the Electoral College.  The electoral college system dates back to ancient times, probably for the sake of offering representation to peons who couldn’t vote themselves. 

Today, however, most everyone is capable of voting themselves- yet we insist on this silly ‘middle man’ system anyway.  So the electoral college is a group of electors who are actually the ones whose votes do matter.  Each state has a different number of electors, so some states carry more weight than others.  The number of electors is determined by adding a state’s Senators (2) with US Representatives (varies depending on state’s population).  For example, Illinois has 21, California has 55, North Dakota has 3.  So, Califonians are more important from Illinoisans (?), who are more important than North Dakota.

When you cast your ballot on election day, you are really just voting for whoever the elector is that said they would vote for you candidate.  So if you go and check the John Edwards box, you are really checking the box of Joe Elector who says if he got elected for the college he will vote for Edwards.  Then, you put your trust into the hands of a guy who SAYS he will vote for Edwards, but who really knows?  And, for North Dakota, he doesn’t carry much weight anyway because he is only 1 out of 538 votes cast in the college.

Why do we still use this literally ancient system?  I don’t know.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to have everyone vote, and then count the votes, and then whoever gets the most votes wins?  I guess maybe that would take too long… so much for fairness.

An Example of How the Electoral College is Not a Fair Representation of the Little Person’s Vote:

The 2000 Election:  Al Gore had more ‘real’ votes (had we counted votes in a normal way), but according to the Electoral College he had less. 

Now, you may think- oh we’ve all heard of that one, it’s been beaten to death- but I am going to keep talking about it because although we KNOW, as a fact, that the 2000 elections were unfair and incorrect (for reasons besides the electoral college thing, which sadly is perfectly legal) we haven’t done a thing about it, and actually let it happen AGAIN in 2004.  ONE article of many suggesting this.  And we’re obviously letting it happen again.

Part 2:  Faithless Electors

A faithless elector is a member of the electoral college who says they are going to vote for one candidate, and then votes for someone else.  This behavior is punishable, but no FE has ever actually been punished.  Apparently FE’s have never changed the outcome of an election,  but I wonder.  That’s personal opinion, but take some time to think about it yourself.

Part 3:  ‘Winner’ Takes All

Another part of the electoral college which makes no sense is this:  After the electoral votes are cast, whoever gets the most votes in that state ‘wins’ and gets that state’s whole vote.  So if Clinton gets 40 out of 55 electoral votes in California, California switches and ALL 55 of it’s votes go to Clinton.  So during elections, when you hear about which candidates win which states, it’s not a matter of who gets the most votes, really, it’s who gets ALL the votes for that state.  So, for example, Clinton could ‘win’ all of California’s 55 votes even though technically she only got 40.  These numbers add up, and by taking away votes from other candidates who don’t get the majority of the state, this nullifies your vote and actually GIVES it to a candidate you did not vote for.  If you vote for McCain, but the majority of the electoral college votes for Clinton (just an example) then YOUR votes flips to Clinton as well. 

So, because we still insist on using the Electoral College as our method of choosing leaders, YOUR VOTE DOESN’T MATTER- unless of course EVERYONE votes for the same person.  The electoral college racks up big number fast for the front runners, and almost immediately nullifies votes for anyone else.  So after the big states flip to whoever the majority of the college votes for (not the majority of the PEOPLE), it’s pretty much a done deal.  You can go ahead and vote anyway, I’m going to, but just keep in mind that unless everyone else votes the same as you- your vote, more likely than not, will eventually go to a candidate you are not supporting. 

This is foolish, and makes no sense, but until we get off our asses and stop reading stupid articles like this and instead DEMAND a change, we’re going to keep getting Presidents in office who we did not elect.  I don’t know about you, but after some pretty shitty elections in the past I’m ready to step it up and create a REAL democracy, not a fake one run by the rich and the high up.

**Check comments below for a link to Citizen J’s site for further detail on this foolish and sneaky voting method!  …. well I’ll just give you the link here!

Since I have returned to my hometown, I work at my old job (a florist).  They were kind enough (desperate) to take me back, and it is nice to come home and be able to start working right away.  I have made it clear to them that I am only working there until I find something else (better) that offers medical benefits and doesn’t involve slave-style duties.

Anyway, other than the usual crap that takes place at that hellhole, I also got to witness one of the biggest shit-shows know to floral shops everywhere: Valentine’s Day.  Since most men do not understand the concept of planning ahead, we were very slow the week before the dreaded day… and the atmosphere was similar to the feel on a beach before a horrific storm, quiet lapping waves of the sea gently tapping the shore before a tsunami.  We prepared the balloons, decorated some azalea plants, memorized the holiday prices, and ordered about a million roses. 

Then came February 13th, the phonecalls began… and they did not stop.  Men calling, leaving it up to me (who could care less) to decide what they should send their girlfriends/ wives for the holiday.  Trying to make small talk as I read off prices of roses and other dumb arrangements that are just going to die in a week anyway.  I convince them to add a balloon, or a stuffed animal, or even an overpriced box of chocolates.  Most men just want a dozen red roses- how very original!  The florists (the one’s who actually make the arrangements- I just take the orders) are abuzz- and by abuzz I mean violent and bitchy.  Snapping everytime I place another invoice on their workstation- yelling that they need a second choice in case they run out of the first, demanding I slit my wrists and flail on the floor to redeem myself.  Well, not really- but they were really mean.

Then the 14th.  I wake up and suddenly know what a death row inmate feels like on his or her big day.  Dreading it, but somewhat releived that all of it is almost over.  I dragged myself to work, trying to meditate and create a calm atmosphere while driving through the type of traffic that only a certain type of neighborhood (shitty) can generate- people walking down the middle of the street, no turn signals, old rust-buckets broken down and taking up a whole lane, and a crater-sized pothole ever 4 meters. 

I pull into work and am immediately yelled at, for no reason at all, and have to start answering the phones before I even get my coat off.  There is a line of loser guys outside the door already, the florists are on suicide watch, and everyone is generally pissed off. 

It was awful, but like many trauma victims, the details of my abuse are fuzzy- I think I’ve blocked it out.  But it sucked, I have worked retail for 11 years now and through all the Christmases, spring blowout sales, and Mother’s Days I have never seen anything like it.  We all survived, but a little piece of me died that day- and my husband will never have to get me a Valentine’s Day present ever again.  And a note to all you men out there- don’t walk into a florist and think you’re cute and sweet for remembering, and expect us to give a shit about you, your girlfriend, whether or not she likes roses, or comment about the prices… we just see you as a hurdle, and want to get over you and move on the the next one as quickly as possible.  Pick your flowers, pay, and get out before you get hurt.

I need a new job in a bad way.

As you all know, “Being Green” isn’t just for Kermit the frog anymore.  Saving the environment is a goal that has been around as long as I can remember.  From Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring to Woodsy the Owl and his “Give a Hoot” campain we have been aware of our negative effect on the planet.  The hole in the Ozone Layer, Smog, Acid Rain, pesticides, contaminated water, endangered animals, decreasing rain forests, litter, overfilled landfills, etc. etc. etc…..

Anyway, we all know about global climate change and how it’s mainly our fault.  I get it Al and Leo.  And I feel bad about it.  I try and shop locally, not waste anything, don’t litter, and don’t even drive a car for crying out loud!

Unlike many other Americans, however, I can’t afford to eat organic food all of the time, pay $50 for an ‘organic’ t-shirt, install solar panels on my face, or spend $40,000 on a hybrid car.  I won’t go into detail about my pathetic financial situation, but I’m sure a lot of you out there also cannot afford to be one of the stylish, Prius-driving, Whole Foods shopping ‘Green Elite.’ 

There is one thing I think everyone can do to help though, besides not being wasteful and not throwing your styrofoam out the SUV window, and that one thing is RECYCLE.

Okay, duh, you know that.  But guess what?  Not everyone CAN recycle!  It’s true.  Many places do not offer recycle pick up- just trash.  There may be a recycling depot across town somewhere, a few marked bins where you can dump your cardboard and cans, but when you don’t have a car or just aren’t aware of these stations then WTF?

Maybe you all are aware of this, but I was not.  Ever since I can remember my parents have had three bins in the garage.  A big one for trash, and two blue ones- for paper and plastic/aluminum.  My parents aren’t Greenpeace members or anything like that, we’ve just always recycled.  No big deal.  It was the same when I went to college, we had recycling cans by every garbage can, and every dorm room had three receptacles- one for trash, two for recyclables.

Much to my surprise when I got to where I live now, and also in the previous town I lived in… no recycling service!  Just those stupid recycling stations on the creepy side of town.  So last year, when I had my car, I of course drove all my recyclables down to the station every week, which was a pain in the ass but not so bad.  It was a small town so I figured they just didn’t have big recycling trucks coming by.  I highly doubt that everyone did this though… and I’m sure many people just did not recycle there.

Now that I am living in a city of nearly 250,000 people though, I am shocked that recycling isn’t something every household does automatically!  It’s one thing (I guess) when you live in the middle of nowhere with a handful of farmers that there isn’t a recycling truck coming in to town every week, but in a big city that offers every other service imaginable?  And with no car now I can no longer drag my cans down to the depot anymore… it’s too far.  I looked into recycling here and did find one service, but it costs $150!!  And as I mentioned before ‘Me + financial situation = pathetic’ so of course spending $150 on anything that’s not rent or food related is just not possible.  This really bothers me because I know there are plenty of other people out there throwing perfectly good cans and papers away because they don’t have another option, either no car- not enough money- or aren’t aware of alternative services.  So I get really angry when I see celebrities sucking themselves off over driving a hybrid and having a solar panel, when I can’t even recycle!  Shouldn’t recycling be mandatory?  Everyone can get trash pick up, so I don’t understand why recycling just doesn’t go hand in hand as a city service.  Recycling is the one thing anyone from any background with any income can do… and it isn’t available in many places.  This, to me, is bullshit.  And I think it’s insulting to make ‘being green’ some chic new campaign when the only ‘green living’ that is encouraged is the kind that results in spending ridiculous amounts of money on “organic” food and clothing, hybrid cars, etc.  Recycling is easy, doesn’t require any supplies other than a separate bin, and is an effective way to conserve resources- instead of just using newer ‘greener’ ones.

So I demand recycling be offered in every community, cost no more than trash pick-up, and be available to everyone.  Screw your dirty recycling depots behind the city industrial park, and fuck you assholes charging $150 for a good deed.  For now I will continue conserving energy, unplugging my computer at night, walking everywhere (even though that isn’t by choice), and using my reusable cloth grocery bags.  But everytime I throw a can away or add another piece of junk mail to my paper filled bin (I just can’t bring myself to throw it out, so I just have a huge box full of paper sitting in my kitchen) I will cringe and miss my days back in my hometown where recycling was a given.  Meanwhile I am going to write to the city and suggest a change.

What a glorious thing we thought reality tv was.  The early Real World and Survivor blew us away.  They were great!  Look at these real people making fools of themselves!  What voyeurs we are.  It was awesome.

Now, however, there isn’t much to choose from BESIDES reality tv show.  Survivor, The Real World, The Hills (barely), Trading Spouses, Big Brother, L.A. Ink, Miami Ink, The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, America/ Austrailia/ Canada /Britain’s Next Top Models, Biggest Loser, etc. etc.  These are supposed to be ‘real’ people given opportunities to win money, fame, a title, weight, etc.  But the more reality show dribble that is being produced, the less real it is!  And even if it was real, we don’t care anymore!

Instead of real people being on tv, it’s now aspiring actors and celebrity-esque competitors.  Everyone is on to how ‘alliances’ work, and there is always some kind of shocking scandal- what a surprise that a girl on Top Model has an eating disorder, or that some asshole on Biggest Loser drank 40 gallons of water to throw the vote, or someone passes out or gets slapped, whatever.  How many times can we watch the same thing happen? 

It was cool the first time a Survivor contestant got naked, it was shocking when the guy on the Real World slapped the girl with Lupus back in ‘98, and we all loved the religious rant of that creepy lady on wife swap, but attention television networks:  Just because we liked it the first time doesn’t mean you have to do it for every fucking show. 

And as far as this Hollywood writer’s strike- GOOD!  You guys suck too!  Maybe if you wrote something good we wouldn’t be forced to turn to the “unpredictable” antics of reality television.  I’m sorry but everyone needs to get their own personal reality check and stop encouraging this crap.  I say spread the fires towards Hollywood and lets rebuild from scratch.  I demand some quality programming.  I want to see a sitcom that strays from the same 5 plots writers have been using since TGIF fifteen years ago.  And I don’t want to hear about fat people losing weight, slutty people being slutty, fanatical people being psycho, and models passing out from eating nothing but apple seeds for two weeks. 

Heroes sucks, 24 sucks, Grey’s Anatomy SUCKS, every thing on television sucks.  Everything.  I don’t even want cable because that sucks too.  And maybe you’re saying “well why don’t you write a show if you don’t like the selection?”  Because I am not a television writer, and if I wrote television shows they would all be about smoking weed and complaining about television- and I have to common sense to know that people don’t want to watch that. 

Back to my original topic- I didn’t intend to touch on regular television shows- but back to Reality Television.  Stop it.  Just stop.  How many more $100,000 prizes can we give out?  How long until we run out of fat people to go on Biggest Loser or people who want a phoenix tattooed on their arm by Kat Von Slut?  How many more islands are left to film Survivor on and how long until the people on Trading Spouses realize that the person who comes into their home is going to make them live differently than they’re used to- that is the point.  And how many more seasons of the Real World can we stomach?  I went to college, and it was the same fucking thing, alcoholic sluts throwing things at each other. 

12-9pm.  That is my delivery time frame for this fucking couch I have been waiting for.  Well, the second couch. 

Couch #1- Ordered in early September, waited a month for it’s delivery.  Couch comes, can’t fit through door, fail.

Couch #2- Ordered three weeks ago from Sears, delivery date set for the 17th, day passes, no couch.  Angry phonecall to Sears ensues.  Couch redelivery set for Today, between12 and 9. 

Let the waiting begin.  If I don’t get this couch today I’m not sure what will happen, but lets just day it’s not going to pleasant for anyone.

If you have been following my couch saga, you know the following things:

1.  I just moved, and need a couch for my apartment.

2.  I ordered a couch at the beginning of September, from The Bay, and waited a month for it to be delivered.

3.  The couch arrived, but the delivery men could not get it through my door (I don’t think they even tried though, I’m sure they could have gotten it in).  So I was left with no couch.

4.  I ordered a new couch set from Sears, a less expensive futon-ish “room-in-a-box” to be delivered yesterday.

Now for the update… the delivery time window slowly got smaller, and I started to sweat.  I called Sears and asked if my set was on it’s way… they said “you won’t be getting your couches today” and I wept on the inside, and was pissed.  Apparently, my couch set wasn’t at the loading dock when the delivery truck was there loading up to leave.  No phonecall, no email, no notification of this whatsoever.  If I didn’t call, the couch would have been a no show and I would have had no clue why. 

So I had to reschedule the delivery for the soonest date possible… October 23… which will be about the two month mark for sitting on the fucking floor, with no couch, just a wooden chair and a rug.

I am demanding they waive the delivery fee… but must wait until I receive the couch before they can do anything.  ‘Despair’ is the only thing I feel right now.  Bad enough I have to deal with the wonderful Canadian Immigration services, but I still do not have a couch to rest on as I sit on hold with the Immigration hotline daily.  Beginning to question my faith… and my ass and back are killing me.

I am so tired of being bombarded with ads or ad-related CRAP everywhere I go!!  It’s bad enough I can’ t sit down to watch a television show without being forcefed a half hour of stupid-waste-of-money commercials, but now consumerism is even bleeding into my blog!!

This morning I have this comment waiting for me:

“leakyfaucet wrote a fantastic post today on “Couch Update III”Here’s ONLY a quick extract So today is the day. The day I finally get a couch in this place! I swear my living room looks like a modern art exhibit. White walls, white carpet, black tv, and chair. I am amazed at what a difference a sofa can make!”

You know who wrote that pointless comment?  BESTPLASMATVDEALS.info!!!  Leave me alone!  How is it legal for these assholes to generate mass pollution like this?  Pop-ups and flashing side bars are bad enough, and already follow me to whatever website I go to… but this is ridiculous!!

I know ads support television networks and websites and all that… but for fuck’s sake!!  Does this company actually think I’m going to go buy a plasma tv now because I got some junk mail?  I don’t think so.

Does anyone else out there die a little inside every time they hear a good song used for a stupid commercial?  I think I finally realized the seriousness of this issue the other day when “All you need is Love” was used in a fucking baby wipes commercial!!!!

Commercials are overplayed and annoying anyway, and to have what used to be a favorite song become overplayed and annoying is a tragedy. 

Any “artist” (Beatles not included, since I didn’t think they had the rights to a lot of their songs- correct me if I’m wrong) who sells their music to an Ad agency is an asshole, and I hate them.  Don’t they have enough money floating around?  Why can’t they just do a stupid reality show like every other washed up celebrity?  Why do they have to go and ruin the one thing that got their names out there in the first place?  If I had any talent at all and actually had a song that was GOOD, I would never in a million years let some asshole trying to sell something near it! 

Where are all the jingle writers out there?  Living on the streets?  Why not let unknown bands promote their music and use their stuff?   Wait… because when bands are still unknown they actually have a shred of dignity and actually care about their songs and would never compromise their integrity for a fucking commercial… so nevermind. 

Canada Post is the Worst Institution in the Universe

Canada Post is the worst institution in the universe.  I was going to list several examples to prove this statement, but I think one will do the trick: THEY DON’T DELIVER MAIL! 

You have to pretty much leave a trail of maple syrup that leads to your house to get any Canada Post worker to deliver a package.  I don’t know which dimension packages enter before arriving at some random grocery store but they certainly do not stop at my house.  I just wait for a month and then suddenly get a threatening FINAL NOTICE slip in my mail box (oh my God, they found it!) and have to walk to the drug store 2 miles away to pick up a package that I expected to be delivered to my house!!! 

Quoting a book about living and working in Canada, the mail system is “the epitome of inefficiency.”  Good luck getting through to complain about this too… everyone is too busy watching a Calgary Flames game and eating poutine to even bother helping out a customer- why should they?  The one time I did get through, the lady was very helpful… but I still get final notices and have to walk two miles to get my own goddam packages.  Why should the even deliver it there?  Why don’t I just wait at the receiving docks downtown and just get it myself… I would certainly hate to bother a letter carrier.  NO!  How ATTEMPT to deliver a package to ME, AT HOME.  There is a buzzer next to the door with MY NAME on it… push button…. I’m probably home since I’m waiting for a fucking package!  In the event I am not home… you should have some tags in your little bag there… go ahead and look… there they are… that’s a notice to say you attempted a delivery, and will try again tomorrow…. I will surely be home waiting if I get a tag saying you’re trying to deliver something.  Don’t bring the package to my house and if I’m not hanging over my balcony naked with a “DELIVER TO ME” sign around my neck just leave… no buzzer, no tag.  What is wrong with you?  What in God’s name is wrong with Canada Post?  Your ONE JOB is to deliver mail… and you FAIL EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FUCK YOU!!!!!!

The other day I wrote about how excited I was to be getting a couch.  I ordered one LAST MONTH and have been waiting patiently, sitting on the floor. 

It finally arrived and was delivered to my apartment, it was beautiful and nearly brought a tear to my eye. 

Unfortunately… the fucking couch didn’t fit through my door!!!  Well, I think it could have fit- the delivery men only tried for about 5 minutes, and I think if they angled it then maybe…. whatever.  Long story short I’m still sitting on the floor.