Devastation

Merry Fucking Christmas!

After 12 weeks of waiting for the Canadian government to review my application for a shit $9 an hour cashier job… the answer is no.  Refused!  The pharmacy that wanted to hire me does not have permission to do so.  And I had to call the offices to find that out!  They didn’t even bother to let me or the pharmacy know!!!  What the fuck?  What is wrong with these people? 

So now I guess the next step is to apply for Permanent Residence, which takes 2 years, and I don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to support myself when I can’t work and my husband is in school.  I’m guessing he will have to drop out and get a job, but one income still doesn’t cover our meager monthly expenses and my stupid student loans.  And if he quits school then we have to start back up with his student loans too! 

This is so ridiculous I can’t even see straight.  I have now officially wasted a year of my life trying to get a job in Canada- it would be easier for me to be on welfare there than to work and support myself!  And now here I am again, stuck with no plan, no money, and no job.  Fuck. You. Canada.  Thanks for absolutely nothing.

End of the World

In case you haven’t heard, the Chicago-land area was hit with a snowstorm last night (and it’s still going this morning).  There is nearly a foot of snow covering the suburbs, strip-malls, and my car (which I have been reunited with since my return home!).  And even though we get snow every year, and we live in a place known for having four distinct seasons- everyone in my family has laid an egg over the current weather situation. 

My mom is freaking out because I don’t have boots, my dad has banned me from driving anywhere, and my brother’s bus to school was late- which caused a whole separate egg to be laid.  I am happy to be home, but I forgot how psychotic my parents are. 

I think snowstorms are an excellent excuse to stay home from work/ school and watch tv all day, bake something/ get baked, and bundle up and go for a walk in your snowpants.  But around here school is still on, work is mandatory, and the snow is despised rather than enjoyed.  What a bunch of assholes.  So today it’s just me and my dog companions- if everyone else wants to feel inconvenienced then that’s their problem.  I’m going to go throw snowballs in my dogs’ faces.

I want Bill Cosby to be my Cool Uncle

Can I just say that I love Bill Cosby?  Let me count the ways…

1.  The Cosby Show was probably the best show ever.  I watch it every day at lunchtime and am always overwhelmed with a feeling of warmth.  I really want to be a part of that family!  They have their problems, but they are so functional, articulate, and mature about everything.  I hope some day I can be just like Claire Huxtable… plus that woman does not age.  At all.

2.  Fat Albert was also awesome… and the kids on that show weren’t pretentious or bratty either… they were cool.

3.  He is an excellent comedian, without being vulgar.  I LOVE the words fuck, sack, pussy, shit, ass, etc. etc. etc., but I really respect a comedian who can be funny without inserting bad words into their schtick.

4.  I love Jell-O

5.  I really admire the way he works so hard to encourage people to seek out education, self-respect, and self-improvement instead of the trivial crap we choose to focus on instead and challenges people to take responsibility for their actions! 

I’m watching my friend Bill on Oprah right now, and while he appears to be mainly addressing the black community, I really think his message should be applied to all families.  There are lots of people out there who would rather take the easy way that often leads to bad things, instead of working hard and reaping the benefits later on. 

I think there is a big problem going on, where people are rarely doing the right thing, and instead choose the easy thing.  Instead of working hard at whatever, people are more inclined to make up excuses for why they can’t.  There is no reason to not respect each other, honor our responsibilities, fix our mistakes, and always walk the path of self-improvement.  Most successful people out there come from a difficult past, but they somehow make it!  They make it because they don’t sit around making excuses, feeling sorry for themselves, or conditioning themselves to think they aren’t worth it.  They seek knowledge, work hard, and remain determined to better themselves.

So we really should all be working harder to step up to the plate and really make the effort to be better people and educate our kids to do the same.  Once we improve ourselves, through education and acceptance for example, our society will improve too!!  The more we educate ourselves and inform ourselves about what is going on outside our personal bubble, the better our lives will be.

Here are some tips from Bill: 

Get an Education/Skills
Be a Parent/Caregiver
Be Healthy
Stop Violence
Get a Job

Check out his website or just watch the Cosby show or eat some Jell-O or something.

Homeless Teenagers and My Couch

As I sit here waiting for my sofa to be delivered, my back crying out in pain for Sears to hurry up- because I am sick of sitting on the floor- I can’t help but think of something I’ve been seeing every day for the past two weeks… the homeless teenagers on a street a few blocks from my apartment.

About two weeks ago I went to 7/11 to secretly buy a pack of cigarettes (everyone thinks I quit).  As I beelined to the store, I was almost there when my path was nearly obstructed by a shopping cart full of crap, two dogs, and a girl sitting on the sidewalk.  The girl nicely asked if I had any change, and I looked at her- no matter how much of an asshole you are, when you look at a homeless person you can’t help but feel like more of an asshole just because you aren’t in their situation- and I told her I would give her some once I made my purchase.  I couldn’t give her the 20 in my purse, dammit!  I’m unemployed and poor too!  So I went and bought my scandalous cigarettes and then when I came back outside she was joined by her boyfriend (assuming) and so I gave them some change (not much, since fucking Canadian cigarettes will pretty much cost you your first born) and pet their dogs, and went home. 

I felt bad because they were young, one with dread locks, one with a mohawk- both expressing themselves in a way that I would never have the guts to do- and they were very polite.  It made me sad.  I felt bad for the dogs too…

So then I saw this little young homeless family asleep on the bridge a few days later, a few blocks from where I saw them the first time.  It was late and I wondered how easy it was for homeless people to sleep in like that.

So I’ve been thinking about these kids for a while… what is their story?  Where are their parents?  Where did they get those dogs from?  I see homeless people a lot here, but for some reason these two were different I guess.  Not that my heart doesn’t break every time I see someone without a home… maybe it’s just because they had dogs?  I don’t know.

But over the past few days, as I walk down this particular street- which is probably the most “trendy” one in the city I guess, there are some cool clothing stores, a head shop, and some cozy bars- and notice this mix of dreadlocks, dogs, and teenagers in combat boots is growing.  There they sit, lazily asking for a cigarette here and there, some with signs, some with their belongings in a pile next to them, and I don’t know how many dogs.  But it makes me wonder what the hell they’re doing?  They must have some education, they all seem to be friends with each other, and they’re citizens of Canada… so I’m wondering what is keeping them from working?  And again, where are their parents?  This situation just doesn’t seem like the more common homeless scenario- just working to make ends meet, then you get fired or sick or in legal trouble, forcing you to live on the streets… or a drug problem or mental illness or something that keeps you from being able to support yourself… I don’t know, there are TONS of reasons why people are homeless… and I hate it, and I wish I could fix it… but with this stylish group that is slowly taking over the hip street, I wonder what is keeping them from working?  There are so many jobs here, and couldn’t they maybe go stay with a friend or a family member and save money and get a place somewhere?  I just know that for me and my husband, we are POOR.  We have no extras, he’s not working because he’s in school and I’m not working yet because I am not a citizen here… but I found a job, and we’ve saved some money, and we work very hard.  So what is keeping these people from going somewhere and getting just something?  Why do I give them my money when honestly, I don’t see why they can’t work.   I am NOT saying this applies to all homeless people, no way… people get stuck in those situations, and oftentimes there is no way out for them.  These KIDS though, are clean, friendly, able-bodied, etc. and I don’t understand why they have decided to move out of whereever they were before (fights with parents can and should be resolved, have some respect/ friends they stay with can’t support them maybe?) and not have a job.  I just don’t see the point in going to the trendiest street in the city, parking in with your dogs and your friends who all have decent clothing, a shopping cart full of stuff, and what appears to be a perfectly capable head on your shoulders… maybe make the effort to get some help?  Extend a hand to one of the organizations around who help people like you!  Offer to volunteer in exchange for a little help or something?  For these specific kids, in this specific scenario… I wonder why you would ask for the money other people earned and cigarettes you shouldn’t smoke, and drag all these poor dogs around with you.  I don’t know… it’s just awful that so many people are homeless, but kids like that have no reason to get stuck there.  But I guess I don’t know what their story is… but from now on I will focus more time helping homeless people who have already exhaused every other avenue… not on kids who are probably just making a statement.  Sorry.